seven weeks

On Wednesday, I will officially be eight weeks along. As for today, I'm seven weeks and five days. Hooray! I can't believe it's already been three full weeks since we found out we're having a little baby Nunnery. I still haven't quite been able to wrap my head around it. Physically, I'm fully aware of what's happening. Mentally and spiritually...well, that's a totally different story. How do you ever fully grasp how much your life is changing? Do you ever grasp it? Even when I'm finally holding him in my arms (we're hoping for a boy, so I'm just going to use that pronoun for the time being), will I grasp it then? 

I still go about my day, every day, almost exactly as I did before. The only differences are that I write more notes in my journal (one a week about how I'm feeling and one a week to baby Nunnery), drink waaaaaay less caffeine (I'm still allowed to have some!) and much more water, take prenatal vitamins each day, and read tons of pregnancy apps, books, articles, websites, etc. I've got baby brain. But I'm still working. I'm still writing. I still lead Bible studies and hang out with my friends and go out to eat and watch movies with Pierce. I still deal with anxiety. I still worry about how all this will turn out and why it happened now instead of earlier or later, like I had hoped it would. But I'm still me.

I guess that's where I'm struggling. Who will I be when he arrives? I hope I'll be a much better version of myself. And this occupies my thoughts more than anything else these days.

Trying to trust in what God is doing is the biggest battle. I can't see why He allowed us to get pregnant now, after so many months of being off birth control. I try not to be sad all the time about potentially missing out on my best friend's wedding day in October, even though we both know it's likely. I try not to stress over how different our lives will look and whether or not we'll adjust the way I think we should. I try to rejoice over this life inside of me. A life! A heartbeat! Little arms and legs and a brain and feelings and fingers and toes. There's a baby in there, you guys! It's still a bit more than mind-boggling.

Baby Nunnery at 6 weeks and 1 day. He looks like a piece of lint in my uterus. At least that's what I told the ultrasound technician.

Baby Nunnery just one week later! He's so much bigger. I can almost see a tiny human. I saw his heart beat, and his little brain, too.

Anyway, the cravings have started, and I'm all about the pickles. How cliche is that? I saw a bag of dill pickle Lays in the grocery store and almost cut off Pierce's blood supply as I gripped his arm and said, "Baby! We have to get those!" I'm pretty much about any food that doesn't make me sick. The strangest thing is that I don't walk around feeling nauseous all the time. I never know when something will make me want to toss my cookies until I hear it. Oh! And my boobs! I'm sorry (not sorry), but for a girl who's been a solid A-cup her whole life, this pregnancy thing is a slam dunk! 

Happy Monday :).

Seven weeks: Baby Nunnery is about the size of a raspberry, he's starting to develop tiny arms and legs, and his kidneys are about to start working, too. According to my What To Expect app, he is about 10,000 times the size he was at conception! Too crazy.